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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?